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They know how to use social skills to get what they want.Note I said generally, because there are some kind people that tend to smile alot too.I would never do that to her, but I would say in a nice way "you need to buy your own food, because we probably have different taste".At university too, I found people were nice and made suggestions like one said let's go out but when it came down to the crunch she only said it because I think she was hoping to learn from what I was doing right. Another I spent at least a couple of hours helping her learn calculations and she did not keep her end of the bargain.
I cannot agree more with you and Amanda, there is so much truth in this comments and I'm sorry but as I was reading the reply to Amanda I couldn't stop feeling misunderstood still.I agree that something is amiss given the scenario you have described and your desire for more reciprocal friendships. I am caring and giving and feel that people will try to manipulate things out of you because of niceness. I also wonder if I have personality issues that may contribute. I'd love to have interesting, kind, supportive friends who want a two way relationship. I did make sure that I gave them things in return for putting up with me, however they never use to say "Thank you" and it did occur to me that they only put up with my going on and on, on more than several occasions because they were trying to manipulate me for money.I have been refered to as a snob when some first meet me but if I continually intiate then I'm a pest. Instead, I find people usually want to use you in some way. They came out with a comment basically asking for money and I responded in a practical way, so they did not get what they were after.This might include living someplace rural where there are few people or, because of a history of frequent moves, being someplace where you feel like an outsider. Unfortunately, because of stigma, people shun individuals with mental or physical disabilities. Is there something about you that others find grating? Do you consider making time for friends selfish or frivolous? Have you led your friends to believe that you will always do the organizing?Do you have an unrealistic, romanticized notion of friendship?