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The catch: The science behind gene-based dating is iffy at best. Who you want to find: Your STEM-approved soul mate. Get: App Store Get: Google Play It is: An app that selects your matches for you. Get: App Store It is: Essentially Tinder, but for gay men. Who you want to find: A put-together man who wants a drink and a fuck.

The catch: Women are only sent matches who've already expressed interest. Who you actually find: A flighty 23-year-old who likes talking about his abdominals.

Get: App Store Get: Google Play It is: An elite app for celebrities, models, artists, and other generally cultured people. Get: App Store Get: Google Play It is: An app that admits ambitious, successful users only after an extensive screening period. Who you actually find: An Ivy League banker who uses the word "handouts" unironically.

Get: App Store Get: Google Play It is: Essentially Tinder, but women make the rules--i.e.

Be upfront about your intentions (and your timeframe) before you end up in bed, and if all else fails, tell them you have very important errands to run, walk out together, and then drive to Target and pick up a new Whitney Houston graphic tee ("very important errand").

This scenario has traumatized a number of my horny gay friends who enacted a thorough screening protocol but still got duped, regardless of their efforts to collect a portfolio the size of your senior photo collection from "Btm Boy69." Here's what you don't do: Open that door.only women can start a conversation after a match is made. Who you want to find: A young, fun professional with an adventurous spirit.Who you actually find: A hundred women who never move past the first swipe.The other less-honest, depending on your cravings that day, response: Remember how you just ate Chipotle? Mention how you just demolished that thing, emphasis on "lots of beans." You don't need me to tell you how that ends. So do about a billion other people, and they're all on hook-up and dating apps. There's an app for your personality type, your job status, and your level of dedication to the dating game. Here, a quick breakdown of what to expect on these hook-up apps, should you have completely avoided them all thus far. It is: The most notorious hook-up app, especially among the younger folks.

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