Dealing with an ex dating a friend
Even though I no longer had feelings for my ex, that didn't mean I would want him shacking up with my best friend! Luckily, they didn't hook up, but I felt like my ex would have if given the opportunity. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one rule when it comes to friends dating exes and that is: YOU CAN' T DO IT. If that doesn't get your dick limp, I don't know what will. And that created a whole shitshow of drama and insecurity for me. While I wouldn't mind seeing my ex go hook up and be happy with a stranger, there is an undeniable sting when it's with someone you know. Maybe if we didn't have the capacity to feel jealousy and insecurity, we could all just have a big happy orgy. So in your opinion, what are the rules about dating exes?I don't think those are the rules of feminism so much as the rules of human decency. That's some Dawson-Joey-Pacey kind of betrayal, and I can only imagine the level of hurt you've been feeling.Another time, someone asked to come home with me, and I responded with a resolute “no,” because I knew the other people they were casually dating. When friends end up sharing the same romantic partners, even the the most seemingly solid friendships can quickly go sour.Resentment is harbored, and group dynamics forever change.
For a moment, things got so bad that my ex and I stopped talking for a bit, but we're fine now, thankfully.
Back in my hometown, I lived in a small arts and activism community, and everyone dated everyone. I distinctly remember talking to a new friend and finding out we had dated not one, not two, but — people I probably knew and would inevitably compare myself to.
Once, when someone I had a longstanding crush on was finally single, I couldn’t bring myself to approach him because it felt like he and his ex, who I knew, were still together.
But it’s not always a fiasco, according to Lora*, 24, remained close with her ex for a year after their breakup.
The two even continued to hook up when they saw each other.